About Me

Writer, comic, husband, brother, son, office cog - this is my story

Hi there - I'm Dave and I have written every goddamn word on this website - that's a picture of me on the left.

I live in Los Angeles with my wife, my 2 cats and my dog (Liz, Jake, Holly and Emmett, respectively). I staple things in downtown LA and I am also the member of a sketch comedy group called Quiet Library. This blog, Embrace the Dull (hereafter, ETD) is a chronicling, for the most part, of those things - wife, cats, dog and Quiet Library; I also have a bit of a political ax to grind.

I began this blog on May 26, 2004 when I was living in New York City. During the period, from that day to this, I got married; acquired 2 cats and one dog; quit drinking, unquit drinking, quit drinking, unquit drinking and finally quit drinking again; formed my sketch comedy group; and moved to LA.

Prior to all of that I spent my childhood raised by neo-hippies in Cazenovia, NY. I say neo-hippies because "hippies" is traditionally associated with stinky-people in the late-60s, not, as was our case, the late-70s early 80s. Notwithstanding, we made our own clothes, ate homemade granola and vegetarian lentil-loaf; we drank goat's milk that we bought from a farm up the road; my parents attended mediation sessions with other hippies and prayed to Eastern religious figures like Paramahansa Yogananda and Ram Dass.

We were fucking hippies.

One afternoon, when I was about 7, I told my mom I was hungry. "Go outside and eat some clover, it's good for you," she advised. Cool Ranch dreams dashed, I went in search of clover. My dad got home about an hour later to find me sitting in the driveway devouring handfuls of clover and grass - it was actually delicious. It was so delicious, as my dad told my mom, because our truck leaked anti-freeze onto the the clover in the driveway - the chemicals infused the flowers an irresistible salty sweetness.

I tell that story to explain anything on this blog that you may find offensive, distasteful or otherwise disagreeable; I have anti-freeze-induced brain-damage, so you can eat a bag of dicks.

I lived in Cazenovia until I was 18 and, having graduated 107 out of 112, I went to the only college that accepted me, Central Connecticut State University (CCSU). I spent 2 years at CCSU trying to get my grades up and then transferred to Boston University in 1995. The move to Boston was an important one as it really got my life started; nevertheless, Boston U is a pretty weak school. The student body is massive, faceless, apathetic and rich; if I could do it all over again I would have gone to a better state school or a much smaller private school.

Anyway, after college I lived with my friend Spero for a year and we drank a lot (this brings us up to about fall of 1999). After that I moved back in with my mom for a few months and then moved to New York City.

While in New York I waited tables at three restaurants (one, the Noho Star, for a day), worked as an executive assistant (though more apt a title would have been personal assistant) at Lincoln Center, and a paralegal at two law firms.

My creative outlets are stand-up comedy, this website and Quiet Library. I moved to New York intent on becoming a stand-up comedian but it never panned out because, to be honest, I'm not all that great at it. Not to mention, doing stand-up is a massive pain-in-ass. If you were ever in a band you can understand - the promoters, the bombing on stage, the begging of friends to show up, the 6-minute sets at 1:00 in the morning, the unpleasant discovery that girls could not care less that you do stand-up - it was just such a grind. Quiet Library is a different story. I enjoy writing sketches and we've actually enjoyed a modicum of success (which makes it worthwhile).

Quiet Library (www.quietlibrary.com) began as a improv troupe and became a sketch comedy group. 4 Quiet Librarians are in New York and one--me--is in LA. We are represented by Creative Artists Agency (CAA) and all of our output can be found on our website, or at myspace.com/quietlibrary.

I love my wife, my dog, my two cats, fantasy hockey, babies, band t-shirts, The Economist, iMacs, office supplies, coffee, Lifehacker blog, live music, my sister-in-law's dog, Blackberries, saying "cocksucker," Stephen Colbert, A Hard Day's Night (the record), and making my wife laugh. Also, despite not drinking anymore, I really love beer.

I hate liver, Sean Hannity, people who humiliate their kids, queuing, the easily offended, the perpetually out-raged, organized religion, hippies, neo-conservatives, pleated pants, insincerity and wall-to-wall carpeting.