Embrace the Dull

Whoa, fancy

I changed the layout around here and added some things - see the links on the left for an explanation.

The Republican brass doesn't like the gays

In other news, the sun came up.

From Think Progress

Earlier this month, Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) pleaded guilty to “misdemeanor disorderly conduct” for “lewd” sexual conduct in a men’s public restroom. In July, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) also admitted to the “sin” of a sexual crime

To date, five Republican lawmakers have called on Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) to resign.

So Vitter, who committed an actual crime, receives no punishment (I mean, to the extent that photo isn't proof of him living Hell on Earth) and Craig, who misbehaved in a bathroom, gets thrown under a bus.

Those Log Cabin Republicans must really love the living-shit out of Goldwater ideals because I can't wrap my head around their party affiliation.

QL Marches on....

Featured in the entertainment section on You Tube, double-featured on Revver (see editor's picks), over 400,000 views on Break and we just sold two more sketches to the CW channel for Online Nation (some show airing in September).

And the Vodka Ad is approaching half a million hits on You Tube.

Holla!

So all this Republican cocksucking has got me thinking....

We all now know that Senator Larry Craig is a shit-head and a hypocrite - as such I enjoy no small amount of glee watching him twist in the wind. But what exactly did he do that's illegal? Why was he arrested?

Was it for attempting to have sex with someone he's attracted to but whose name he didn't know? Is that against the law? If so should I turn myself in or just wait for the police?

The arrest report indicates that Craig communicated to a cop, through gestures or whatever, that he wanted to bone him (or be boned by him). Based on that they nailed him on a "lewd behavior" charge. Not only that, they nailed him for lewd behavior during a sting operation whose entire purpose was to nail gay dudes trying to bone each other in the bathroom.

Think about that - the Minneapolis police ordered hot-dude-cops into public restrooms to hang-out and wait to get picked up by guys so they could arrest them.

That seems like an awful lot of fucking work to snag the occasional butt-sex-having couple, and that's really where it doesn't seem cricket.

What's the difference between some guy saying "hey baby" to a girl on the street and touching her arm, and what Larry Craig did? I think the former is actually more illegal because it constitutes sexual assault and battery whereas the latter is what? Attempted butt-sex?

Is Craig being punished because it's easier to pick up a dude?

Do law enforcement-outfits execute comparable stings in straight areas? Do they send hot-cop-chicks undercover to construction sites or into predominantly Latin neighborhoods in an attempt to ensnare cat-calling Lotharios? I doubt it.

Now I think we can all appreciate the utility of not having dudes boning each other in our public restrooms - I have no indifference toward that activity. What I do object to is the let's-get-the-crazy-gays implication.

Sidenote: is it me or doer he look more Senatorial in his mugshot (right) than he does is his official Senate headshot (Upper Left)? In the Senate shot he looks like he's on his way out to cruise for butt-sex, doesn't he?

Has President Bush Met His Match?

A video from Quiet Library

and another one...

A morning in which I karate chop my clock

I woke up this morning to the cruel blare of smooth jazz. Hand asleep and fingers completely unresponsive, I futilely whacked the snooze button with he back of my hand (pimp-slapping it, as it were, with what amounted to a paralyzed flipper). Liz in turn was hitting me, instructing in stage whisper "do something, do something" in the same way a noir actress would say "oh my god, he has a gun."

Finally I swung my right arm around, defusing the alarm and knocking the clock off the table onto Emmett's giant dinosaur head.

Emmett barked and recoiled.

I said fuck.

Gooood morning.

Another day...

...another prominent Republican pleads guilty to trying to blow an undercover cop in a public restroom.

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men's public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.

From the arrest report:

"At 1216 hours, [Senator] Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area.

Lovely. Anyway, he just plead guilty.

Don't know how I missed this, he was arrested in June but only plead guilty last week - I guess with all the Republican cocksmoking I just wasn't able to keep track.

QL on the Comedy Central Blog

Boo yah

Being married to an opera singer has its ups and downs

Sometimes Liz sings really pretty songs like La Traviatta and Emmett dances. Other times, like now, she's singing "Jesus Christ Fucking Shit, "It's going to be hot tonight in this fucking room," and "I hope they don't sweat their fucking balls off" - all are songs she composed in response to the fact that my mother and step-father are staying with us tonight.

I doubt they're going to sweat their balls off - it's opera, so it's melodrama, right? I hope it's not even an issue with my mom. Either way I'm leaving out a fan.

Hottest Right-Wing Nutjobs

My recent discovery that I find post-surge Ann Coulter remotely attractive is unsettling. Has she, this succubus, this Goebbels-with-tits, enchanted me? Or am I simply drawn to the C-Cups? After a lot of prayer I found that, while AC and I do have our disagreements, am I not still a man? Am I not flesh? If you cut me do I not bleed? If I see knockers do I not ogle?

Breasts should not be punished for the ideology belonging to the chest-neck-brain to which they are attached. For example, I think John Gruden is a jerk but I can appreciate the photo on the right.

A such I have compiled a quick list of the hottest right-wing nutjobs

1) Michelle Malkin: This is no contest. Not only is she the hottest (by a huge margin) but she's also the most surreal (see video). What is she talking about? Is she claiming there's a conspiracy against her? Has this gorgeous, affluent woman-of-means been dealt a sour hand? Who the hell knows? I know I didn't anymore understand the lyrics to Circle in the Sand but that didn't prevent me me from spending hours of quality time with Belinda Carlisle during my formative decad..er, years.

Michele's position at the top is strengthened by the existence of early '90s bikini photos - Woo! Young Republicans! No Rulz!

2) Laura Ingraham: She is not traditionally hot, but Ingraham has a Lucinda Williams-look to her - a little worse for wear, maybe a little haggard - she can still look pretty good while encouraging voter fraud, outing gay students in college and calling them Sodomites, or lying about FISA.

Ingraham also has a perpetually rosy picture of the Iraqi kerfuffle and blames lazy media coverage for the public's negative attitude. She said,

To do a show from Iraq means to talk to the Iraqi military, to go out with the Iraqi military, to actually have a conversation with the people instead of reporting from hotel balconies about the latest improvised explosive device going off.

I would direct her to the 80 journalists who have died since the war's inception + Daniel Perle's bodlyess head; these spirited disagreements would give us something fun to talk about after a night of soul-crushing rogering.

3) Tucker Carlson: This chick is fine. Great hair, winning smile and kin-ky - remember when she got fisted by Jon Stewart? Yeeeow!

4) Ann Coulter: As mentioned above, AC version 2.0 ("Now with Tits!") does look marginally better (in the same way that a turd can be improved by placing a paper-towel over it) and for that she should be commended.

Her new cans appeal to me on two levels: 1) in getting breast-augmentation surgery, Ann demonstrates an understanding that what she needs most is a complete and total overhaul of everything she is; everything physically, everything emotionally, everything spiritually and everything politically  - everything. And 2) they are cans (ok, three levels)

And that makes her all the hotter.