That the POS story was watchable is a testament to the incredible action sequences and AJ's transcendental hotness/badassness.
James Mcavoy was also great. Here's where I stand on James Mcavoy: I wouldn't try to kiss him, but if he tried to kiss me, I wouldn't resist.
Just getting that out there
Who doesn't like Paul Sorvino? Who knows? I can, however, assure you who does like Paul Sorvino: that person's name is Paul Sorvino.
A few months ago Liz and I saw him on Carson Daly (what, like you don't watch the occasional Carson. Shut it.) and Sorvino kept going on and on about what a talented actor he is and how challenging his roles are and what an accomplished opera singer he was.
"Whatever, we thought, it's not like he said he was a rare knight or a Baron or a Count or something." I guess he was just saving up for his Study in Windbaggery that was featured in last week's Time Out New York (TONY). The interview was conducted to flesh out the details related to Sorvino's new role in the New York City Opera's revival of Frank Loesser’s classic 1956 musical, The Most Happy Fella. But TONY got more, so, so much more (etd commentary in bold red)
TONY: Your role of Tony in this show makes incredible vocal demands.
Paul Sorvino: I think it’s the most vocally demanding Broadway role (wow, right out of the gate). This role strikes fear into the heart of all baritones (uh huh. So does a diet high in dairy. I don't think it's hard to scare singers.), because the tessitura is so high (huh?): It lies around Fs and F-sharps a lot, which is close to the top of the baritone range. Robert Weede, the great singer who originated this role, was a lyric baritone. This role killed his voice. By the time I saw the original production, his voice was a Bert Lahr imitation (tell me about it)—it was shaking all over the place. So even though Tony is ostensibly written for a baritone, in my estimation it’s a properly challenging role for a dramatic tenor (but what about a pompous ass?). And my voice has a three-octave range; I can either sing lyrically or dramatically. It’s a type of voice that really hasn't been around for a long time. The last one was Leo Slezak, at the beginning of the 20th century (who talks like this?).
TONY: So why didn’t you go into opera as a career? (did it lack adequate melodrama?)
PS: I had recurrent bouts of asthma, and later on I developed acid reflux: My voice would stop and I didn’t know why. At a certain point, I knew I could not depend on it to sing in opera. And I never could find a good teacher (that must be it). I went to the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, but only for one year. My father wouldn't permit me to take the second-year scholarship. I had to stay at home and work. I’ve been working since I was ten. My father had two jobs most of the time; he was a foreman in a dress factory (I bet he was).
TONY: Seeing you as a lovelorn vineyard owner in The Most Happy Fella may shock people who think of you as a specialist in mafiosi. (Priceless, this is a question about the roles he chooses; Sorvino twists it into...well, just read this, no snarky commentary necessary)
PS: The pity of it all is that I’m so associated with that kind of role. I’ve only done five or six of them, and I’ve done 110 movies. I played Henry Kissinger [in Nixon], but most people don’t know that. They think only of cutting garlic. I am the polar opposite of Paulie in GoodFellas, and yet it’s probably going to be my legacy, which is really disturbing. My family is a noble family from over a thousand years ago in Naples. Our coat of arms predates the Crusades: It’s a lion looking at the sun, which intimates that the family is close to the king. I didn’t know this until a couple of years ago, when I was knighted: I am a Knight of the Great Cross, Cavaliere di Gran Croce—there are only 11 of us in my rank in the world. I’m also a Knight of the Italian Republic, and the likelihood is that I’m probably a baron or a count, but I haven’t done the research, because we live in a meritocracy. (???!!!)
TONY: And yet not all the best people end up rising to the top (I have to think the interviewer was physically restraining his eyes from rolling into the back of his head)
PS: There are many people crushed under the wheel of time and opportunity. That time-opportunity wheel is a mother. So I’m not going to bemoan my fate. I used to say to God (not pray, mind you, say. Paulie and God, they're like this, son), “Why was I given this big voice if I’m not supposed to use it?” I think I’ve probably been through more travail with my voice than any other singer in history (Jesus Christ). I believe that I will be the oldest tenor to ever debut at Lincoln Center. So what? (yeah, you certainly seem non-plussed by it) I still stand straight and I can still sing a C-sharp. Let’s see what comes of it all. It’s a moment I’ve been looking forward to for most of my life. I should like to do it with honor, and as a gift to New York (please include a receipt, fatboy).
~~~
It's telling that even on Oscar Sunday this is the most self-serving piece of crap I've seen since I caught Liz kissing her biceps in the mirror and saying "you're the best!"
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Hopefully next year I Liz and I will be seated at the table for the cast and producers of Jake & Holly in Backseats are for Pooping, This Time it's Musical!
Another Quiet Library show at UCB this Thursday.
Shameless. And easy. I have no standards. None.
My birthday was on Tuesday. I took the day off from work because I neglected to get my drivers license renewed. The DMV has come a long way since the last time I was there but it's still a total shit sandwich. Before they would renew my license I had to take an eye test. I went to a desk and a woman, who appeared overjoyed to be working for the DMV, absent-mindedly asked me to read row 8 or whatever on an eye chart. I read it and she passed me (I assume that she had the row memorized as she didn't look up from her game of mine sweeper as I read it - I should have spelled out I-P-O-O-P-O-N-D-U-D-E-S to see if she was paying attention. Maybe next time).
After 3 hours at the DMV I was really ready to party so I took the A train up to Washington Heights and bought 3 grams of cocaine. Then I bought a liter of Vodka and went back to my apartment and partied till dawn with these hot chicks that live in my building. I don't like to kiss and tell but I will say this, I put my penis in their vaginas if-you-know-what-I-mean. Oh wait, I made all of that up.
After the DMV I went back to my apartment - Liz, my hot girlfriend, decided to spend the morning barfing (I think for reasons unrelated to my birthday). I decided my time would be best spent reviewing my iTunes and adding star ratings to several hundred songs. I also thought it would be a good idea to add cover art to several hundred albums. The cover art project required finding a picture of the album cover (usually on Amazon) and transferring it to iTunes. I have been putting off doing this for several months, but finally I just said, you know what, iTunes will not add cover art to itself, so just get it done, ok, David?
It's that kind of can-do, take-no-prisoners attitude that has catapulted me to the stratospheric professional and artistic success I currently enjoy.
Speaking of catapults, I also played Age of Kings for about 6 hours.
I had doughnuts for dinner.
See Jake (left)
1) Loud sounds
2) The tape measure (rather, the noise the tape measure makes)
3) Everyone, on occasion, except my girlfriend, Liz.
4) The toaster oven
5) Dogs
6) Birds
7) Squirrels
8) Dust bunnies
9) Actual bunnies (no actual interaction, but safe to say, I think)
10) The flashlight
11) The doorbell
12) My cell phone
13) Anytime anyone raises their voice
14) Sirens
15) Thunder
When Jake has the misfortune of experiencing anyone of these things he hides in the bedroom (seen below)
