Embrace the Dull

Shucks!

So here's what happened:

The sink in our kitchen clogged so we called a plumber because there was, as Liz pointed out,

"WATER! WATER! WATER CASCADING DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING COUNTER!"

So I DVR'd the Superbowl while dealing with the problem (Liz actually dealt with the problem, I watched).

I sit down to watch the game and found that, since it ran long, I missed the last 6 minutes. Judging from the score, those would appear to be the 6 greatest minutes in Superbowl history.

TOUCHDOWNS! TOUCHDOWNS! 3 MOTHERFUCKING TOUCHDOWNS IN THE 4th QUARTER!!!

Ratfarts!

Related: Emmett Smith appears to have shoe polish in his beard.

Thoughts on the NCF Championship Game

Holy mackerel, Eli Manning is dumb as a bag of hair.

This guy deserves props

Win One for the Cheater
Why the enraged Patriots will go undefeated.
By Charles P. Pierce

Dated 9/17/07, the day after the Patriots beat the Chargers to go 2-0

Ron Jaworski

I wonder how many more times I'm going to hear Ron Jaworski tell me

"you know, it's ironic that the New England Patriots might go undefeated in the same season that the Miami Dolphins don't win a single game!"

before I kill my entire family.

How lame is Stuart Scott?

So lame that something called the "Stuart Scott Poetry Jam" is no weaker than anything else he does.

As a matter of fact, his poetry is less agonizing than hearing him channel Chuck D in the form of "Hear Tha Drummer Get Wicked" everytime "D-Wade" buries a "J."

I wonder how much Genny Cream Ale this guy has consumed from that day to this one

I'm injured

Yesterday in a dramatic play-at-the-plate I was called out (questionably) sliding (headfirst) while attempting to turn a triple into a HR during an intramural softball game.

Later I badly sprained my ankle leaping for a hit over first base.

I think to ask "are these or are these not the actions of an out-of-shape jackass who runs around once a week only to injure himself and burden his wife?" is to miss the point.

The point is that my ankle is killing me.

Liz went out last night to buy me crutches so I could move to-and-from my email while she did everything else. Unfortunately the human-height for which the crutches are designed maxes out at 5'10" leaving me with what appear to be joke-crutches. On top of all this, Jake, Holly and Emmett now see me not as an injured payer-of-rent burdened with Klown Krutches, but a deformed freak requiring a robotic exoskeleton to ambulate. As such they flee from me in terror.

Alas!

AAAND, I am fatigued because Liz and I stayed up to till 3:00 a.m. to watch The Fugitive which, like Hoosiers, I have to watch every time I see it on TV.

What a day!

Doooooo'ooooh!

SYDNEY (Reuters) - The wife of former Australian cricket champion Shane Warne says their marriage reconciliation is over after he mistakenly sent her an incriminating text message.

As Callahan got the couple's three children ready for school in Melbourne, a text dropped into the inbox of her mobile phone, she told New Idea magazine.

"Hey beautiful, I'm just talking to my kids, the back door's open," the message from Warne said.

"You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person," Callahan sent back.

j/k! Bff??

NAACP official: Vick shouldn't be banned from NFL

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- The head of the Atlanta chapter of the NAACP said Wednesday that Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has made mistakes but that they should not cost him his football career with the NFL.

R.L. White, president of the Atlanta chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, said his organization does not condone dogfighting or any other illegal activity, but he told reporters that Vick should be given a chance to redeem himself.

   "In some instances, I believe Michael Vick has received more negative press than if he would've killed a human being," White said. "The way he is being persecuted, he wouldn't have been persecuted that much had he killed somebody."

Bolding mine - dude, can I call you dude? Dude, he didn't haul off and kill someone in a bar-fight, he organized and funded a dogfighting ring and personally murdered canines that didn't perform up to snuff (and in the this case, "up to snuff" means "not able to kill other dogs.")

Vick demonstrated a cruelty and sadism that puts him in an uglier class of human.

White said he believes Vick cut a deal rather than roll the dice on a trial and take a chance on being found guilty, but "whatever he's done wrongly, he needs to pay for it."

Seriously? Dude, you know why he didn't want to roll the dice on a trial and risk being found guilty? Because he's fucking guilty. This just in: You don't cut deals when you're innocent or even when you're guilty but there's a chance you'll be found innocent.  Vick cut a deal to go from 5 years to 1-2.  Period.  If there was any chance whatsoever that he would be found not guilty - even a technicality on an improper search or whatever - he'd have "rolled the dice."

Oh, and very ballsy by the NAACP to assert "whatever he's done wrongly, he needs to pay for it." Any other bold positions you'd like to take? Defending truth? Honoring The American Way?

In defending Vick the NAACP becomes a parody of itself - some people are sadistic, gambling-ring-organizing, dog-murdering fuck-heads and, black, white or otherwise, their actions warrant a strong moral (and legal) rebuke.

The second "A" stands for "advancement, " R.L.

I didn't post today because I was working on my fantasy hockey-draft spreadsheets

I wish I was kidding. I'm not. I'm a massive tool.